Churches, Confessing and Bathrooms
by Tah-chan' yellow lily
Summary: Paula wants the girls to go to the church to confess, but Ash doens't like the idea very much... what's she gonna do? Terrible summary, but take a read - slight fameslash, don't like don't read!


**hey hey... i couldn't resist to write about confessing... hope you enjoy it!**

**Summary: Paula wants the girls to go to the church to confess, but Ash doens't like the idea very much... what's she gonna do?**

**Disclaimer: even though i'd love to, i do not own South of Nowhere...**

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ASHLEY'S POV

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!!" I yelled, waggling my arms exasperated. How could she?!

"C'mon, it's not _that_ bad" Spencer said, giggling.

"Oh, yeah. Believe me, it _is!" _I say still trying to understand. _Why in hell_ would I want to confess on the church?!

"Ah, you can do this!" She smiled to me kindly. "Mom said it'd be cool if we confessed before we got married…"

"Spencer, what the hell?" I don't have words. I'm _completely_ out of words. "You know the church is absolutely against gay people, don't you?"

"So what?" She asked with confused.

"Well, I'm not sure, but the last time I checked we were a gay couple!" I say waving my arms nervously. Spencer looks away for a few seconds, probably thinking.

"Hey…You're right!" She said looking back at me. I smirk. "Well, it doesn't matter, we'll go anyway." She decided. I stared at her with my best 'what-the-hell' look. "Or Mom will be mad at us. _Mad_." I sigh deeply.

"Alright…" Paula has finally accepted our relationship. I won't screw things up because I'm scared of churches… "But if he tries to exorcise me I'll hit him!"

"Well, if you do that you'll have a giant monster called Paula Carlin with a giant crucifix running after you trying to hurt you badly" She said taking a long sigh. "She takes church things pretty seriously, you know…"

"Okay, okay…" I say, eventually agreeing with her "We'll go…"

"Great! I'll call Mom and tell her that we're going and we can meet us at the church in 15 minutes" She kissed me on the lips fastly. "You better write down your 'Sins List'" She laughs "It must be pretty long, so start now…" She's _almost _right… it's not pretty long… it's HUGE!

"Yeaah.. I'll start it now!" I said and walked out the room.

I went to the office and started looking for paper and a pen. When I finally find, I sat on the couch and tried to start, but it's kinda difficult. On the top of the paper I write with a weird handwriting.

_Ashley's Sins List_

Ok, it's harder than what I thought. I mean, there are so many that I can't organize them to write down. I try to make a time line on my head. Okay, let's start.

_1- I threw a rotten hot dog on a stupid teacher, cause she called me a 'disturbing kid'_

_2- I skipped classes to go to the park_

_3- I skipped classes to go to the beach_

_4- I skipped classes to… well, to go to lots of places!!_

_5- I kissed more than a guy in one hour_

_6- Actually, I kissed more than 16 guys in one hour!_

_7- And I kissed lots of girls too…_

_8- I did dirty things with guys…_

_9- And girls…_

_10- I called mom 'bitch' cause… well, she is one!_

_11- I got drunk lots of times…_

Right, it's not gonna be easy!

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_Fifteen minutes later, in front of the church_

"I'm glad you decided to come" Paula smiled at us… what the fuck was she thinking? Oops… I forgot this one… I swear…. I have to write it down. I get my paper… papers and add to the list.

"So, what did you get?" Spencer asked me "I wrote a full sheet of paper!" She admitted laughing.

"Well, I got this" I showed my _little _list. Only 3 sheets of paper, front and verse.

"Wow!" She lets out. "It's big!"

"Yeah, yeah…" I say… "Do you wanna go first?" She nods and gets into the Father's room.

After what , ten minutes? She gets out, all smiley and comes to talk to me.

"He's very understanding… I didn't have any problems about _that_…" Less worse "And I already told him that you're the next… He's ready for you" People are never completely ready for me. "Ah, and his name is Rudolf…"

I smile and kiss her on the cheek. Then I take a sigh, count to ten and walk towards the Father's room.

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FATHER RUDOLF'S POV

I think about what I've heard of Spencer Carlin while I wait for her girlfriend… I never thought _this _would happen to the Carlin girl… too bad… but Gog loves her, anyway… I listen a noise coming from the door and I see a pretty 20-years old girl getting shyly into my office.

"Good morning… If I'm not mistaken you're Ashley Davies…" I have to be nice, God wants us to.

"Yeah, you're not… mistaken…" She says like she's thinking if the word means what she thinks it means. "Morning"

Her indifference is amazing. It's clear that she'd never be here by her own will.

"So, do you want to start?" I ask, looking at her. I'm not noticing her beautiful curves or her cute bored face, not even her hair that falls in a very natural way… Well, focus!

"Do you want me to be sincere?" She asks with a smirk. Wow, she has perfect teeth! It's a very beautiful smile, even if it's ironic and God, I shouldn't be looking at her like this.

"I'd appreciate that…" She stares at me incredulous.

"I don't want to, but let's go. The sooner I start, the sooner I finish!" She said. Now I'm looking away. Man, this is so weird! Never in my 15 years of church a girl could make me think about something that I wasn't supposed to. Cause I'm a Father and we're supposed to dedicate our lives to God and only to Him.

"Alright." Is the only thing that came out of my mouth. She gets some sheets of paper. "I see you have a list…"

"Yeah, whatever…" She rolls her eyes, scanning the first page. "It starts right here… number one, I threw a rotten hot dog on a stupid teacher, cause she called me a 'disturbing kid'…"

"Okay" I nod and she keeps going.

"I skipped classes to go to the park, to the beach, and other places that are not of your business" She raises an eyebrow and keeps reading "I kissed more than one guy in a hour"

"Aw, nowadays this is pretty normal.." I started to say, but she cut me

"I kissed more than 16 guys in a hour" I thought she was a dyk… aaah… she had a different option…. "And did 'dirty things' before marriage… lots of times… with some guys and lots of girls too…" She looked at me cautiously, looking for some reaction.

"Alright" She seems disappointed. "And I called my mom bitch…" She said with a grimace "cause, you know, she _is_ a bitch" Even though I want to call _her_ a bitch for saying such a thing about her mom, I don't say anything, but c'mon! it's extremely rude to say bad things about mothers! God doesn't like it! "And I swear a lot…"

"Hm" Is all I let out.

"And I used to get drunk a lot too…" She keeps scanning my face, waiting for me to say something like 'you're going to hell!!", but I don't.

"It's ok. God's compassion is infinite. He'll forgive you" Now she is _definitely_ disappointed.

"And I have a girlfriend!" She almost screams. "And we have a lot of hidden sex on the most places unexpected places!"

"Well, I'm sure you do" I say. My God, what's going on with me today? There's something getting hard here… Oh, no!

"Yeah, we do!" She says almost freaking out because of my poker face. "And it's pretty cool when she moans my name while I am"

"Okay, I don't wanna hear the details…" I say, trying to concentrate on God and the Bible and fuck! No! Not fuck, God!

"Oh, my Fucking God!" AAAHHH, never say 'fuck' and 'God' on the same phrase like… like I did… I can't have reactions! First, it's one of the rules of the church: you can't judge the person or let her/him see what you think about what they're saying. Second: I already figured out that this girl is devil, so, if I let her see what I'm thinking she'll drive me crazy. "_What_ are you?!" She yelled.

"I beg your pardon?" I ask, not getting what she said.

"What are you?! You can't be human not with your _IN_human patience!!" She's absolutely indignant. Ha, I won the fight!

"I'm a Father, I'm just doing what I have to…" I say, hiding a smirk.

"Well, take this now! Once I had sex with Spencer on the church's bathroom! Twice!"

"What?!" I couldn't help this one. It's absurd!! "On the God's house?! What the hell do you have in your head?!"

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ASHLEY'S POV

Yeah! I got him!

"I have the sweet memory of a steamy make out and then a hot quickie on a bathroom with the image of Mother Mary looking at us!!" I yell out loud.

"Shush up!!" He's freaking out!! Yay!!

"I'm not doing what you say!!" I close my eyes and moan "Yeah, Spencer… go!"

"You are devil! Good's gonna punish you for eternity!!" I laugh at his face… I never thought confessing would be so cool!

"And what are you gonna do about it, old man?" He looks at me, insulted

"Old man?! I'm not old!!" He gets a crucifix and points it in my direction. "Get out of this body! It doesn't belong to you! AHHH!!!"

Gosh, he's really freaking out. Now I'm scared. "Okay, okay, he's gone!!" I say almost having an outburst of laughter. "Can I go now?"

For a second he stays still. I wonder if he's gonna throw that crucifix on my face. Then he says with a squeaky voice "Please"

"Great! Hope to see you again!" I say, turning around.

"Well, I don't" She answers, sighing relieved.

I go to the place Spencer was waiting for me. I think my smile was so big that she knew something was wrong. I mean, _when_ would Ashley Davies go to confess and come back smiling?

"What happened?!" She asked, kissing me on the lips, and smiling.

"Nothing…" I say. Then I think again. "I just think I should come here more"

"Gee, what happened inside that room?"

"Ha, nothing important…" I kiss her back "You know what I want to do?" That tiny lie about the bathroom turned me on…

"I have a pretty good idea…" She says with a grin.

"Cool, let's go to the bathroom?" She stares at me with a strange face.

"But Ash, this is God's house" Spence says.

"Well, he sees us everywhere, anyway!" I say. It's a good argument!

"Ash!" She says and then completes the phrase "You're right! Let's go! Ooh, I'll have to add this to my list of sins!" We both laugh.

"I love you!" I say.

"Too" She says and kisses me.

Man, I think I just started to like churches!

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**right, these days i'm inspired! i'm writing a lot! just crap, but a lot! i'm so happy!!**

**hey, why don't you leave me a review? you're already here, anyway!**

**thanks!!**

**hope you liked!**


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